Oh Danny Boy

Took a little heat for this tweet gem (Twem?) this morning: Debated if I could tweet, “ate Mexican bacon with Danny Gans this morning or if it was too soon. Decided it was too soon.

So apparently I’m an “insensitive and irreverent asshole” that deserves “everything coming to you.” Frankly, I couldn’t agree more. I am an asshole most the time, but only for personal amusement reasons, and I do deserve everything coming to me (not sure if that’s supposed to be good or bad, but I’ll take it).

I don’t want to get on the bandwagon of bitching about people on Twitter because I really am fine with people hating me on Twitter; that’s part of the grand experiment. But remember, no one is forcing you people to follow me on Twitter. What’s most interesting is, these comments didn’t even come from people that follow me. These people sought me out and then were disappointed. Shit, join the club. I think it was Dr. Phil that said something like, “when did people start caring so much about people they don’t care about?”

I am a Golden God….or at least a Golden God’s asshole. Love me. Let me make a little birdhouse in your soul.

I Never Get To Be The Winner

Have you ever noticed that when you give someone really good advice like, “dude, I would not bitch slap the ninja riding on the back of that hungry tiger,” people always attribute it to you being, “outside” the situation? It’s never that you are wise beyond your years or a fucking awesome advice giver. It’s just that you’re not directly involved with the situation. So basically any human (or animal) capable of speech and willing to listen to you could have done the same thing. That’s my payday for listening to you whine about how you and your husband tried something new last night and now you’re not feeling so “fresh” and then giving you solid advice? Screw that.

By the way, I don’t think you will actually get the swine flu from doing that. I only told you that because you said my advice was good simply because I was removed from the situation.